Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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