I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
