Kiss
Puke
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize