i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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