the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
