So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize