his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
