Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
