I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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