i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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