We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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