you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
