You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
