Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
