Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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