Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
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