why didn't you poke me back
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize