is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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