She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
well I can't set my house on fire every night
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feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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