with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
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He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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