I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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