and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize