hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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