The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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