It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I see more hoeing in ur future
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
