you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
