I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
what day is it and did you see me today?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
