Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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