i just wanna soil my oats bro
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina