Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.