They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I got inside last night via doggy door
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.