5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
