hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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