I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
