ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
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How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
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I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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