very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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