this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
