Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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