He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
