dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
