Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
