she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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