The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
