You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
