What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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