there's paper in my vomit.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
