Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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