i think my mom watched the whole time
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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