you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
