Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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