put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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