She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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