When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're breaking my sexual little heart
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
