He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
