all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
