omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
