You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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