is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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