Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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