If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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