NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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